A collection of funny shit I've thought was funny enough to reblog. I'm into Minecraft, Homestuck, internet culture, and things that are generally funny or interesting..
MEENAH: alright you glubbin grubs listen up
MEENAH: you want a fuckin story to put you to sleep then fine
MEENAH: once uponch a time a couple a kids went in a forest
MEENAH: they were stupid so they got lost
MEENAH: and some bad people live out in the forest right
MEENAH: like a witch
MEENAH: the witch ate em the end
Because I won’t force myself to finish it tonight if I don’t get some motivation soon, here’s the ENTIRE 17 MINUTES OF AUDIO from the video.
Gonna edit the video late into the night and then catch the train to MCM in the morning.
I’ll make you proud, guys. I swear I will.
Do yourself a favor and give this a listen.
1/10 -GameboyPATH
The worst condom I ever bought. Terrible barrier for fluids. Made intercourse painful for love interest, even more painful for me. I think it got lost somewhere during the act.
Would not recommend.
Ian Newman, San Jose State University (Seeker)
The SJSU Owls don’t get much recognition in the Quidditch world, being overshadowed by their Bay Area neighbors Cal and Silicon Valley Skrewts, both of which have World Cup experience (and thus name recognition) under their belts. But SJSU has quietly built a large and effective Quidditch program even while flying under the radar. Their strategy is superb, and allows them to optimally utilize the many different players they have on their roster. However, their greatest strength lies in the fact that if they are in Snitch range, the odds are incredibly high that they will win, thanks to their terrific Seeker Ian Newman.
Physically, Ian is about average. He’s not incredibly fast, but fast enough. He’s not incredibly strong, but strong enough. He’s not incredibly big, but big enough. Based on these traits alone, Ian would be a decent Seeker.
However, Ian is far more than a decent Seeker. His Snitch catch rate is incredible (I don’t know the exact numbers, but I would speculate, based on what I know, that it’s probably around 90 percent). Part of what makes Ian such an effective Seeker is the fact that he takes an incredibly cerebral approach to Seeking. He seems to be constantly analyzing the Snitch and instantly processing the best way to make the grab. At Western Cup, the Snitches had a run through the night before of the Snitch boundaries and strategy tips. Despite the fact that he wasn’t Snitching, Ian came along on the run in order to be familiar with the boundaries and be able to understand the Snitches’ strategies. He is constantly altering his Seeker strategy to adapt to different types of Snitches and environments. Ian may very well be the “smartest” Seeker in all of Quidditch (by that I mean he takes the most intellectual approach to Seeking of any Seeker I’ve ever seen).
Ian is also quite tenacious. He is constantly pestering the Snitch and constantly trying to exploit that Snitch’s weakness. Many Seekers back off when a Snitch starts to get the upper hand on them, hoping that the other Seeker will create an opening for them to sneak in and grab the Snitch. Not Ian. At Cinco Cup, Ian got flipped by the Snitch and was in a good deal of pain. He hopped right back up and went immediately back to pressuring the Snitch.
If you are looking for a Seeker who almost never makes a dumb mistake, is constantly pressuring the Snitch, and has an extremely high success rate, look no further than Ian Newman.
(EDIT: Ian is also a terrific Beater, but I have not seen him Beating, so I am unable to make an analysis of him as a Beater).
Unrelenting praise for our team’s kick-ass seeker. B-)
I don’t know if this is complete megalomania, childlike insecurity, or some awful combination of the two.
from Commentary:
The Heritage Foundation’s Rory Cooper tweeted that Obama had casually dropped his own name into Ronald Reagan’s official biography on www.whitehouse.gov, claiming…
One one hand, this is pretty irresponsible and… pretentious, I guess, to add a comparison to one’s self at the end of several historical summaries of past presidents. There’s a “feedback” button for each president’s page for people to use, which I think would get some attention from the site’s writers, considering how much of an emphasis the administration puts on online communication.
On the other hand, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT FACE. OH SHIT, THAT’S AN EPIC FACE.
…because I changed my avatar, too.
What? I’m adorable as fuck.
that’s right! you are!
Thank you, Homestuck. I will celebrate my future child’s every spit bubble. :D
1. I’m sure these current relationships are going to develop linearly without any complications at all! /sarcasm
2. Meanwhile, Amon is Senor Lonely until his story arc kicks in.
3. Briefly browsed through Korra tag: cool stuff, cool stuff, cool stuff, PORN, cool stuff, cool stuff…
![generalivan:
Homer: [Homer seems oblivious to the fact that he’s in a lesbian bar] Wait a minute… there’s something bothering me about this place.
[looks around]
Homer: I know! This lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies.
[leaves]
Woman: What was her problem?
When I was a kid (and the VHS was still a thing), my family tested the recording feature of our VHS player by recording a Simpson episode, which I watched the FUCK out of. Homer accidentally becomes a pilot, while Marge works with a therapist about her fear of flying.
As Homer was searching for bars for pilots, he walked into the above bar. I watched it as a kid, and found it funny as hell, just because of how loud he was being (“THIS LESBIAN BAR DOESN’T HAVE A FIRE EXIT!”).
…of course, it’s even funnier to me now.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3gz5tkMvc1qi1w1ho1_400.jpg)
Homer: [Homer seems oblivious to the fact that he’s in a lesbian bar] Wait a minute… there’s something bothering me about this place.
[looks around]
Homer: I know! This lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies.
[leaves]
Woman: What was her problem?
When I was a kid (and the VHS was still a thing), my family tested the recording feature of our VHS player by recording a Simpson episode, which I watched the FUCK out of. Homer accidentally becomes a pilot, while Marge works with a therapist about her fear of flying.
As Homer was searching for bars for pilots, he walked into the above bar. I watched it as a kid, and found it funny as hell, just because of how loud he was being (“THIS LESBIAN BAR DOESN’T HAVE A FIRE EXIT!”).
…of course, it’s even funnier to me now.
HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO
CC: GAMZEE WHATS THE HISTORY OF CINCO DE MAYO
TC: sHuT
TC: ThE
TC: fUcK
TC: Up
